unreservedaddress

because everything else was taken


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Real Feminism

I am so utterly exhausted and tired of all this feminism bullsh*t these days. Enough is enough. It’s about time someone went on a major rant on this sh*t.

The millenial culture and young people culture these days, especially in Western culture, is entirely ass-backwards when it comes to relationships. Instead of dating and relationships being about actually finding someone to enjoy your life with, it’s become a giant game of lust, deceit, emotional guards, lack of empathy, and total selfishness. Young people, by whatever media or whatever external force you feel might be the cause, are taught that cheap thrills are good, that quickies are forever great, that there’s no real downside to having a million and one friends and friends with benefits and dates. That really, in your 20s, it’s a giant screwfest, and that’s awesome! I think in large part, and this is sad to say, it’s being caused by the original feminist movement.

Everyone knows women used to be objects. Men would control them. Use them. Abuse them. And then the 50s and 60s happened, and women finally got some of the power. In relationships, this suddenly meant that women had control over who they say, who they were with, and when and how and where, etc. But real feminism, at least what i’m told, is bringing EQUALITY to the genders.

Everyone knows men like sex. Everyone knows that’s what men think about. Whether that’s because of nature (hormones) or nurture (again what society tells us) is of debate. But we all know this to be true. And modern women DEFINITELY know this. And they are consistently using it to their advantage. Everyone knows a woman is the chooser. A woman chooses whether to be with a guy, sleep with a guy, or even utter a guy’s name. Because of the relative power given to women recently, they now can choose to fend for themselves, and/or decide when or if they want/need a partner.

So what happens? Well from personal experience, GIRLS SLEEP WITH MORE GUYS THAN GUYS DO GIRLS. I have met countless women, mostly friends, who tell me their ‘number’. And it’s higher than most guys by a long shot. Why? I believe it’s because women, who for so long were told that men are assholes, that they cheat, that they sleep around, that they can’t keep their dick in their pants, think that this means as feminist, strong, independent women, they should act just like these men. Meaning, no emotions, open legs, and tons of guys. Of course, most guys are not players, or cheaters. And actually, of the many guys who are, most find it really difficult to find/meet girls to ‘hook up’ with. A classic example of this (which I think is actually pretty accurate) is Barney from HIMYM. Even though that character tries to sleep with hundreds of women, and supposedly has, there are several instances where he strikes out (I think at one point in the show they say his actual success rate is about 3-5%). This is because WOMEN MAKE THE CHOICE.

Nowadays, in the millenial generation, it has gone extreme in the women’s direction when it comes to promiscuity in western culture. Women have both cards – the ‘I want casual card’ that men have always had, AND (much more importantly) the ‘If I want it, I can go out a few times, meet a guy, and bring him home easy because guys love sex and have no social stigma saying they shouldn’t be a slut’ card. Meaning, more and more women are racking up notches on their proverbial sex belts, while most men aren’t even close to that level of promiscuity.

Of the women I’ve personally dated in my life, 85% of them have slept with more men than I have women. This seems to be the ‘western world’ standard these days, as I talk to other guy friends, and girl friends who quote similar behaviour. This has to stop. Why? Because it’s not a BALANCE. Women that have such higher numbers than men in this department lack satisfaction in relationships, because they feel like they’ve already seen and done it all. They get bored. Men feel inadequate – not ready for an overly-experience woman. The last girl I dated told me she hadn’t orgasmed during sex in over a year, even though she’d had many sexual partners. She even admitted becoming totally de-sensitized to the act. And of course, her emotional guardedness was at astronomical heights. She refused to even open up about any emotional context related to relationships she’d had.

If real feminism exists, it means a real balance of the sexes. Yes, I know there are all kinds of f*cked up things about men. And I know the work environments, and salaries, and all that are still skewed to men. But when it comes to relationships, a few things need to happen for their to be real equality of the sexes:

1. Women need to ask out men, just like men ask out women

2. NO GAMES. It seems like people create games just to create drama because their lives are boring. Get a better job that you like, instead of f*cking with other people’s heads for a living.

3. Both people need to be open right off the bat about what they want. There are really only 3 options: 1. single and happy working on myself. 2. i want sex. 3. i want a boyfriend/girlfriend (obviously this applies to gay/lesbians too). So just say what you want, and go from there. If you don’t know what you want, don’t expect someone to stick around. And if you don’t know what you want, also expect someone who wants something from you to try to get it.

4. Stop thinking so much about how awful the other gender maybe is. All of this crap is constructed by society. Even I know this recent flare of women sleeping around is society’s fault. I don’t blame the women themselves, it’s simply a by-product of media and the ‘modern internet-based world’ we live in. But just give your head a shake and realize people are not awful, and the other gender isn’t a mystery. That way, people won’t feel obligated to rack up notches or any of that other crap.

Ok rant done. I know a lot of what I just said will be taken the wrong way. It’s off the cuff this time, because I’m just tired of this sh*t about women not having control over their relationships. I’m sorry, but that’s bullsh*t. Women have more control than ever, and I’d say to a large extent more control than men nowadays. So enough already with the ‘oh being in my 20′s it’s so hard to find a guy’ and realize you’re just immature and don’t want to settle down, and that there are millions of guys looking for a girl. But just like women, they don’t want someone that’s slept around like a rabbit in the Outback. 


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Hip-Hop Initiate

Hip-hop has always been one of my favourite genres of music. Recently, I exposed a new friend of mine from Indonesia to it. She had heard some pop rap, top-40 songs before, but never what could be considered now classic hip-hop, or even anything not heard on the radio. I sent her three songs: Tupac – Changes, Chance the Rapper – Acid Rain, and Vic Mensa – Suitcase. Her response to me, albeit in imperfect English, and from someone that hasn’t heard this kind of music too much before, was so compelling I had to share it with others. There have only been a handful of times in my life so far that I’ve had such an opportunity to expose someone to something totally new to them that I genuinely care about, and that they show real interest in. This was one of those times, and it was pretty special to me.

 

My friend’s reply:

hey, so just want to update about the 3 recommended songs you’ve given me to listen. Well, i’ve to admit, yesterday i tried to listen to them and my first impressions are, to be honest, The songs are all almost the same, same rhythm being repeated again and again,almost thing it is monotone But today, i tried to listen to it again while listening to the lyrics and get deep into the song And surprisingly I thought each song has deeper message. I think hiphop, most of them are black musics (well i hate to say it that way), let me rephrase it to “music that comes from people who experience hardness in their life since young ages, and therfore they have a more inproper words that expressed into music”. But each song, represent singer’s story. Changes by 2 PAC is my favorite amongst all songs you give coz despite of the bad childhood he experienced, he is starving for real change to a more positive life. Acid Rain, I love the last part where the song changes into a nice rhythm, when Vic sang the outro “I am a new man, I am sacrificed/sanctified(?)”. and the story is about how he is being “cleaned” or feel like a new man. I like the rhyme in each sentences and how it turn to a poem-kind of sound, like sentences 1&3 ended up with ce, and 2&4 ended up with a (for example). Acid Rain itself is kind like a metaphore for me, of the processed of being cleaned is hard but he wanted the rain to not go away, means he like the process of being a better man. (maybe, im not sure, you tell me). Suitcase, tell me a story of how he being reminded of a memory in the past. It’s my least favorite, cos somehow I felt that this guy is irresponsible. (even if he just made a metaphore with it). Of course when you made a woman pregnant it’s both of your fault cos u’re not being responsible (haha), and i felt that he is running away with a reason he was still too young. But, the rhyme is nice, and the story is quite unique, it felt a movie. He packed his memory on a suitcase. So overall, my experiences with hiphop is it’s a true music, in simple words. Bit dark, becos the song was made from some dark experiences in the past, but it is honest. I remember in Acid Rain lyric “ Sometimes truth don’t rhyme. Sometimes the lies get millions of views. Funerals for little girls, is that appealing to you.” The rhymes of each song were easy listening, like a poem in more rude language, haha. Full of metaphore such as Acid Rain, or man journeys/ memories that was linked with a suitcase. okay too long, but .. that’s my best review i could think of.


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I wrote this on a train (intro)

There’s no easy place to write on trains. You always expect it – those movies that show someone writing their life story on a train, waiting for time to pass as they go from one far-off land to another. But it doesn’t make sense. The train shifts back and forth and there’s an endless tremor through it, carrying its way through your hand when the pen touches the page. Water in bottles shakes constantly almost as a humour or mocking of the supposed ideality of the situation.

Two black train hoppers pass me, jumping off this train to catch the next. Graffiti on the nearby track walls hops similarly, off and on pieces of homes and fences, each carrying some identity derived from pure experience. And such is the Italian railway.

Traveling for months on end changes a person for certain. These travels of mine over the past two months have given me an almost stupid amount of experience. And yet I know people that see and do more in less time. Ludicrous. How long could it take to register even a tenth of the total reality surrounding you at any one time. Of course then I think I made a better choice to stay longer in fewer places. Probably overall true, if a bit arrogant. Only 3 countries and a city in the two months. All latin languages, making communication a bit easier, even with my incredibly poor Italian and Spanish. And yet it never feels like its enough. Enough time basically, to fit in all of those chances to do spectacular things. And yet here I am thinking of doing Cinque Terre and Pisa in the same day.

The train slows at the next stop and I take a break from my thoughts for a moment. Perhaps regardless of time, everyone has special or unique experiences they come to cherish for years to come. No matter how long you have to travel, it could and should be something amazing. I know I’ve been fortunate enough to have some fantastic experiences.

May my story inspire something.


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New Years Resolutions

learn something totally new and useless to your everyday or future goals, just as an exercise in learning

watch more Martin Scorsese movies

watch The Wire in its entirety

try to make one person laugh a day

rely less on others, and realize that you can do things yourself without feeling like you’re missing out on something else that’s going on in someone else’s life. They are just like you, and no more important or interesting

go on more dates

just try to connect with more people in general

find a good job

work hard to change people’s perceptions of one another in a positive way

focus on the future rather than wishing the past were the present

write a short story or a screenplay or something that just fills in the void of creativity, and try to make it as amazing as possible, in whatever way that might be


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The traveling conundrum

The traveling conundrum

I like to travel. One of the big reasons for that is to experience new things. That could be food, culture, music, or just different ways of thinking from people. Unfortunately, with the world becoming a smaller place all the time, I see that everyone is becoming more and more alike. In the last 10 years, with buzzwords like globalization being used way too often, people tote cultural similarities as something great, that link us together and make other people more approachable. While this is true, I think there needs to be a balance.

More and more, people act the same, dress the same, have the same haircuts and ‘look’, and end up homogenizing culture. Examples of this include more english and less interest in native languages, and and overtolerance of immigrant traditions to the point of losing native ones. In this context, traveling then gets more and more… Boring

I wish that people would stand up and value their traditions because not only are they emotionally important, they also mean money. Many people travel to specific places to get away from their past and experience something new. So please stop trying to accommodate others so extremely, and disregard your own pasts (obviously not completely). Not only is it good for you emotionally, but places with high dependence on tourism could possibly gain financially.

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